Friday, January 15, 2016

Losing Relationships

Hello Readers of the Internet!
I figured that while I am still up I should update this thing with a post because we all know how often that happens. :p
The hard thing is that now I have this webpage open I don't know what to write about.... So many thoughts are going through my mind but I don't know if it would be too abstract or if anyone would care to read it.
I guess the main thing that is on my mind would be relationships, and I am talking about in general. The things that make us love others, family, friends, what we tend to accept and like about one another to want to interact with people. This is on my mind because earlier today I was given the opportunity to have closure on a particular matter that had changed a relationship of mine.
With respect to the individual I will not give hints or go into detail about the situation, but it made me think about other people whom I've had similar experiences with. Thanks to the internet I am able to communicate with so many people from thousands of miles away from me. People come across my channel and tell me that I have made a difference in their perspective of certain things. I have reached them on a personal level. But one thought that came to mind was that no matter how or what we feel, communication is a vital part in understanding one another.
I also started to think about how me must also be mindful of what we are "allowed" to see and hear. Not everyone communicates clearly and you are only receiving partial information of what they want you to know. My personality on my channel is something that I strive to make as original as possible. My platform is about showing your true self and not being ashamed of what makes you different. But at the same time I am only sharing what I think is appropriate to share. My subscribers can talk with me and we can have discussions on various topics that peak our interests. You can watch over a hundred and fifty videos of me sharing my thoughts and stories with you. But my whole story is not on my channel.
My relationship with my subscribers is something that I am learning to adjust to. Of course I am thankful for people interested in my content and what I have to say, but is this sharing mutual? When it comes to friendship I am told that I show my heart almost immediately. I like to give my trust to those that I have come to appreciate but once red flags start appearing I am just as quick to start building walls.
Earlier I stated that communication plays an important part in understanding others. It is also how we base our trust. We've pretty much all had experiences with people who have taken that for granted. Such experiences can be very emotional because all we can ask ourselves is why it happened. I believe that we live for the experience of learning. Sometimes we just learn the hard way. I don't like to hold grudges because there is always a reason why we pursue getting to know new people. I believe that it is in our hearts to make new connections and share with others. What sucks is that occasionally we have to go about it carefully.
The thing is, I don't want lessons like this teach me to NOT be trusting of others or to start expecting that something bad will happen. But I do have the tendency to cut ties with something that I know I don't like. And for me walking away is the best thing to do so that I don't focus on something that has hurt me. I I build my wall to move on and search for whatever else awaits me. How do you move on after losing a relationship with someone?