Losing Relationships

Hello Readers of the Internet!
I figured that while I am still up I should update this thing with a post because we all know how often that happens. :p
The hard thing is that now I have this webpage open I don't know what to write about.... So many thoughts are going through my mind but I don't know if it would be too abstract or if anyone would care to read it.
I guess the main thing that is on my mind would be relationships, and I am talking about in general. The things that make us love others, family, friends, what we tend to accept and like about one another to want to interact with people. This is on my mind because earlier today I was given the opportunity to have closure on a particular matter that had changed a relationship of mine.
With respect to the individual I will not give hints or go into detail about the situation, but it made me think about other people whom I've had similar experiences with. Thanks to the internet I am able to communicate with so many people from thousands of miles away from me. People come across my channel and tell me that I have made a difference in their perspective of certain things. I have reached them on a personal level. But one thought that came to mind was that no matter how or what we feel, communication is a vital part in understanding one another.
I also started to think about how me must also be mindful of what we are "allowed" to see and hear. Not everyone communicates clearly and you are only receiving partial information of what they want you to know. My personality on my channel is something that I strive to make as original as possible. My platform is about showing your true self and not being ashamed of what makes you different. But at the same time I am only sharing what I think is appropriate to share. My subscribers can talk with me and we can have discussions on various topics that peak our interests. You can watch over a hundred and fifty videos of me sharing my thoughts and stories with you. But my whole story is not on my channel.
My relationship with my subscribers is something that I am learning to adjust to. Of course I am thankful for people interested in my content and what I have to say, but is this sharing mutual? When it comes to friendship I am told that I show my heart almost immediately. I like to give my trust to those that I have come to appreciate but once red flags start appearing I am just as quick to start building walls.
Earlier I stated that communication plays an important part in understanding others. It is also how we base our trust. We've pretty much all had experiences with people who have taken that for granted. Such experiences can be very emotional because all we can ask ourselves is why it happened. I believe that we live for the experience of learning. Sometimes we just learn the hard way. I don't like to hold grudges because there is always a reason why we pursue getting to know new people. I believe that it is in our hearts to make new connections and share with others. What sucks is that occasionally we have to go about it carefully.
The thing is, I don't want lessons like this teach me to NOT be trusting of others or to start expecting that something bad will happen. But I do have the tendency to cut ties with something that I know I don't like. And for me walking away is the best thing to do so that I don't focus on something that has hurt me. I I build my wall to move on and search for whatever else awaits me. How do you move on after losing a relationship with someone?

IYouTube Collaboration with Davey Wavey

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EXCITING NEWS!!!

Forgive me blog readers! (That is if anyone actually reads this thing...) I have been meaning to write a post for a while but due to the holiday season starting I have been either very busy or just wanting to relax. :)
So, something is going to happen on my YouTube channel, which is a thing that I'm not sure if I'm ready to see what the outcome will be. Indeed it is a thing that I am very excited about and grateful for! Never would I ever have expected to do something like this! Just goes to show that putting passion into what you love can work out to be something worth your work. The only hint that I will give you is that it involves me taking a flight to LA in order to shoot a collaboration project with a popular gay individual on YouTube. To find out who, you will have to wait and see on December 8th!
I want to write more but at the moment it is getting very late and after a four day weekend I know that I need all the sleep I can get to start the week! Will be back (sooner or later) thank you dear reader for your time! :)

JD

Opportunity and Leaps of Faith

Hey awesome readers of the internet! It has been a while since I've last posted an entry to this blog. My apologies for not keeping this thing as updated as I do my YT channel. I am doing my best to think of topics to expand on here. The problem is that when I do I am waaay too tired to sit down and type. LOL

But now focusing on the topic of this post. Lately I have been very fortunate this month of October. I have been blessed with the opportunity to promote my works as an artist, musician, and advocate. I by no means wish to "brag" about what I have been doing or will do... It's just that I don't know how to feel about people asking me, telling me that they want me to be part of what they are working on.
First of all if you have watched my recent video (link for your convenience) you will know of the things I did this past weekend in Phoenix. That is just the first thing that happened this month. I was also contacted a month ago to perform at a banquet event honoring our Veterans of Southern Arizona. This will be my first performance in over half a year. And the cherry on the top (of which I am only disclosing very little detail) has been that I was recently contacted by ***** ***** from ******* and now I am planning a weekend trip to ********** next month for a video project!This person sent me a message last week and I honestly was shocked and in disbelief that he had sent me such an email. It wasn't until we had talked over a Skype call that it felt actually real. :)
I have not felt this good about myself in quite some time. Although I am not the type of person to feel BAD about myself, receiving these opportunities and having these doors open up for me in the world of what I love to do, has made me feel more confident as a creator. I never expected my art, music, or YouTube content to really draw that much attention. The only goal I have through my work is awareness of diversity and sharing what I have learned from my experiences.

This has also caused me to do some thinking about my future and how serious I should start taking myself as an artist and YouTuber. I have always known that I have had a passion to create things and to teach others as well as connect with others. My current position of employment is also an achievement that I am proud to have accomplished at such a young age. But on the other hand, working in this profession has made me reconsider my advancements in pursuing a higher degree. I love my job and the people I am privileged to work with.  But this is also something that I know I do NOT want to continue doing for long....
Right now my feelings are of high hopes. Hope for my future as an artist, activist, musician, creator, collaborator..... My feelings also lay in uncertainty. I don't know which moves would be the "smart" ones, however I DO know what I would like to accomplish. The journey toward my goals and satisfactions is what is the unknown keeping my mind at a crossroads.
The best I can do now is take my leaps of faith, hoping that I land somewhere stable and happy. I am truly thankful to each and every one of my supporters. And if you are one of those people reading this, I will take this moment to tell you that you are appreciated. Please say hello to me and introduce yourself. I don't like to concept of "fans", I love the notion of friendship. I don't wish to just have you learn and hear what I have to say, I wish to also learn from YOU and listen to YOUR story!

Thanks for reading,
JD

GAY CAMP

Dear Internet,
I apologize for my lack of content posting to this blog. (if anyone even reads this thing) However, in my defense I did tell readers in my very first post that I do NOT consider myself to be a writer. I am doing my best to give this another go!

Memorial Day weekend (in the US) was the time I spent my first time ever at a camp in the woods. If you live in Arizona (which is for the most part a conservative state) you would probs be surprised about an LGBTQ+ Outdoors Gay Camp Program in Prescott. The camp is known as OUTdoors Campchella. :) I have posted a video about my experiences, talking about all of the amazing people I met and now message on an almost daily basis. This was something that has been recommended to my by several friends that I met at our local LGBT Youth Center. Over that past couple years of growing into adulthood I am sad to say that visits with such friends are very rare. Anyway I have known about the camp for the past two years and over the summer I finally made the last minute decision to apply. That's right, because so many people want to attend every year they select campers through an application process.
To my surprise I was selected and even though I will admit that I was not expecting to, once I received my acceptance letter I was then very much excited about the experience. Just another quick detail this program is orientated for LGBTQ Youth in Arizona as well as youth from other states. The age range is 11-24 with different workshops for three days. These workshops can be about queer politics and advocacy for adjustments in laws, gay history, trans history, a workshop learning about different sources of strength (SOS), art, dance, music, ropes courses, and of course glitter all around!
This experience really helped to open my eyes about how the LGBTQ community is evolving and reminded me of the importance that we are not alone and that we must support each other. Some people came with stories of having no support at home, camp was the only place that they felt entirely safe to be able to express themselves, identify openly with their proper pronouns and identities. Most of the learning came from fellow youth willing to open up and share their thoughts.
I was very happy at how accommodating everyone was when I arrived. I knew several of the staff from my city and they were quick to help me by describing the landscape right away. I normally do not travel with a cane as much as I did over that weekend. There were two reasons for this, 1- it was nature and rocks and shit. (I LOVE nature, just hate tripping LOL) and 2- Sometimes its easier when people see you with a cane instead of having to explain your visual limits repeatedly. :) Although I was more than happy to explain my visual impairment with others, I felt that not being ashamed of using my cane would be the right attitude to bring more diversity to the camp.
The diversity of the gay community was well represented and I have met so many amazing people. ( I know I've said that already but you have NO IDEA how much I mean that) I have been inspired by peoples stories, their character, willingness to listen, and their overall personality! The only thing that I am unhappy with is the fact that I did not attend during the previous years. I only have one more year to attend as a camper. But the memories and connections made are what really count. I hope to continue to talk with my fellow unicorns from Camp OUTdoors. I love you all and CANNOT wait to see you again! -hugs-

Native American YouTubers

 http://danggadsmile.com/2015/08/13/top-48-native-indigenous-youtubers-2/ 

YouTubers With Disabilities